What you need is... a little spot to sit.

Here is something you can do to make sure you get enough of an opportunity to trigger the relaxation response, it works every time, all the time. What you need to do is to create a little spot to sit, or in my case, about five little spots to sit.

The best place for this spot is somewhere you find peaceful and beautiful. So not a spot inside surrounded by jobs. My little spots to sit are all in our garden, because this is the most wonderful place in the world for me.

Your little spot to sit needs to be somewhere that you see and walk past on a regular basis. This is so that you see it often and it invites and reminds you to sit down.

Your little spot to sit needs to be comfortable, it needs to be a do nothing spot... so not your meditation spot. This little spot is for you to relax and enjoy doing nothing at all really. You need to be able to sit back with a cuppa tea.

Your little spot needs to be out of the way of the general traffic of other people. I sometimes sneak off to my little spot and at times I am there for up to an hour before I am found out! Sometimes I only get five minutes before our little daughter finds me.

This little spot to sit is where you will rejuvenate, where you will relax, where you can let your guard down, where you can daydream and drift off. You need this time, you need this spot for your mental health. This is YOUR special and sacred spot. Happy daydreaming.

What to do with an egg whisk when you are a vegan

Egg whisks are such wonderful tools in the vegan kitchen, and having followed a vegan diet for 26 years I was surprised to find that I didn’t know just how useful, essential actually, they are for the vegan chef. It was my husband who showed me the completely valuable role they perform, hours of time has been saved and a much better result has been achieved in preparing foods now that I know the real reason egg whisks were invented.

On the vegan dinner table it is quite common to find legumes, beans, rice and quinoa and if the pulses are correctly prepared you’ll find they are soft, easily digested and not the catalyst for flatulence that many people assume them to be. There are two procedures you need to undertake in order to get the best out of pulses in the kitchen. The first is that you soak them, all pulses (beans and legumes) need to be soaked and the soaking time differs from one pulse to the next. More on that later. The second being that all pulses, rice and quinoa need to be rinsed and rinsed well. This is where the egg whisk comes into play.

You’ll find it too easy to eat more beans and legumes in your diet because soaked and washing them is very easy and takes very little time. All you need to do is to put the quantity of pulses you wish to cook into a bowl and cover them with about five centimetres of water. When the required soaking time is finished give them a good rinse and they are ready to be cooked. Rinsing pulses, rice and quinoa is essential for them to cook nicely and be easily digested, using an egg whisk in the rinsing/washing procedure will save you water and time.

All lots of water into your bowl of soaked pulses or into the rice you wish to cook and use the whisk to wash them. Agitate the rice or pulses in the water, using the whisk and the water give them a good scrub. Drain and repeat twice more, the rinse water may not run too clear and this is alright.  Now drain and cook them.

Soaking mung beans

A little bit about soaking and rinsing pulses (beans and legumes that is) before you cook them, it’s a very important step in preparing your legumes for healthy eating. Soaking pulses reduces cooking time and renders them more digestible, reducing their causing flatulence. In fact, if you are getting flatulence after eating legumes it is a sign you are not preparing them correctly. Split red lentils, moong dal, urad dal and other broken legumes soak for perhaps half an hour. The only dal you will need to soak longer is chana dal and this is because it is made of broken chickpeas and chickpeas have a long cooking time. Green lentils, puy lentils (French lentils), whole red lentils and mung beans are best soaked for at least an hour or more. Much longer soak times are required for chickpeas, kidney beans and black beans. Being much larger they require more time to soak up water so it makes sense. Putting chickpeas and red kidney beans on to soak before you go to bed and using them the next day is a good idea.

Chickpeas, kidney beans and black beans have a long cooking time, using a pressure cooker will greatly reduce their cooking time and is a truly valuable addition to the kitchen. Soaked, rinsed and home cooked pulses are vastly healthier and environmentally friendly, they are also cheaper than their tinned cousins. Canned foods are not alive and cause a sludge in the system. I avoid them. Red lentils and red kidney beans are high in iron and are good for the blood so be sure to eat them a few times a week.

One of my favourites, chana dal which is tomato based and made with chickpeas

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Book your private appointment with her here

Middle aged spread - the good part

I rang my little brother for his 39^th birthday the other day. We both agreed that 39 is a great age and we also agreed that we’d not want to be ‘young’ again. Many of us were told when we were in primary school that these years were the best years of our life. We see billboards of young, shiny people barely out of their teens and they look in their prime. They haven’t hit middle age spread yet (or it hasn’t hit them), they are probably going to work like hell to make sure nothing spreads. But there is something we need to know, to remember and this is that along with the middle age spread of the body comes middle age spread of the mind and the heart also. Simply put, the older we get the more we spread, life actually becomes easier and here is why.

I had my daughter when I was 40, 18 months later my body is still not back to its original toned shape. I’m not sure how long ago my mind started to spread, it was a while ago and it also is not back to its original toned shape and I can honestly say the same for my heart. It’s all spreading, relaxing, loosening up… I’ve expanded in a good way.

When we look at our middle aged spread, of the body, it often likely triggers some unpleasant feelings in us and I think that has to do with some sort of fear of aging, but it doesn’t have to. What we can do is to see the middle aged spread in our lives and instead of seeing it as a sign of our aging and our lives moving past the middle mark… look beyond that to the middle aged spread of the mind and heart too. This is what I do.

Life becomes easier once the middle aged spread hits us because we have a much, much better sense of who we are and we more deeply identify with the inner reality rather than the outer. That is what causes us stress, when we are younger. The constant looking without to validate what we feel within. As we age, as we spread we no longer do this. Life becomes easier and we spread, we loosen a little more each day and each year that goes by.

When you feel stressed, when you feel overwhelmed by life connect to the gentle expansion of your body, heart and mind. Why grieve the changes of your body when in fact they are a reflection of a wiser, suppler mind and heart. Salute your middle aged spread, and exhale.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Book your private appointment with her here

The One Big Reason You Feel Overburdened

This morning I feel, really, really happy. I feel in balance, I feel at ease (soldier), I feel a great expanse of space in my mind, in my heart, in my body and in the space around me. I know why I feel like this, I also know why I don’t feel like this all the time. There are many little reasons (tired or such) for the days that I don’t feel like this and there is one big reason. I also know I am not alone in this, I’d bet that your one big reason is the same as my own. I’m writing this down, I’m sharing it with you because I want to remind not just me, I want to remind you also. I want to give you permission to get over this one big reason. I think we all need all the help we can get with this one.

It’s about being overburdened, it’s all about taking on too much, and it’s all about trying to get ahead. Yes, it’s all about trying to get ahead or is that… a head? At almost 42 years of age I know my motivators for overburdening myself because I know myself pretty well. I can, at times, take on too much because I have a good and generous heart and I want to help people, animals, the planet, even Angels. In fact, I’ll help just about anything and anyone. I will stop what I am doing to save a bee or a worm on the road. I can, at times, take on too much because I feel I need to, should do, have to because I am almost constantly looking to be productive/useful. I love the way I am, I love that I love to help and I love that I love being productive, that’s me! However, even these gorgeous qualities leave a nasty taste in my mouth when to them is added being focussed on the result because this is what causes the overburdened business.

Here’s how I have (am) fixing it so that I have far, far more days feeling as I do today. Because as they say ‘what do you expect, the world to change for your peace of mind? Change yourself.’

Being totally honest with myself (and with you now), totally honest, I realised that the reason I wanted to help someone/something, the reason I wanted to be productive was because I was focussed on the result. I would (and sometimes still do) add and add to my list of things to do and to be if I thought it was going to get me closer to my expected result. In your head, picture a small woman that is now bent over with the weight of the load she is carrying. She can hardly see the road that lays in front of her because she is carrying such a weight she can only manage to put one foot in front of the other and she can see only the road at her feet… not the sky, anymore. Poor thing.

The most powerful action I took to help me shake off my burdens was to stop being focussed on my expected result, and I instead enjoyed what I was doing just for the sake of it.

When the need to achieve a certain result is taken away you have all the time in the world, when you feel you have all the time in the world the burden is lifted. Suddenly there is no finish line you need to rush to. There is no push, the rush is gone.  First a feeling of deep relief rushes in and is followed by the feeling of relaxation.

“Rather than focussing on the finish line, my expected result, I am free to do the best I can. I am free to enjoy what I am doing, I am free to be present.”

When I realised this, truly realised this, a weight heavier than Mt Everest was lifted off my shoulders. The thought ‘I don’t need to worry about the result, all I need to do is my best (and enjoy) THIS moment, THIS action’ is perhaps one of the most powerful thoughts I have. I don’t need to do my best to get a certain result, I don’t need to do my best to impress someone else, I don’t need to do my best for any other reason other than to enjoy the doing, the action. That IS ALL,I realised, I need to do. I just need to do my best at enjoying myself as I live this moment focussed in the action of this moment alone.

This isn’t selfish, nor is it foolhardy, it’s honest and it’s real and it gives me/you energy rather than zapping it away from us. This way of thinking spells an end to the career of the dis-eased juggler of life! This way of thinking will have me/you doing a far, far better job of things I can assure you.  Rather than overburden yourself, rather than take on too much, rather than trying to get ahead try surrendering to the moment instead. Give enjoying the moment and what you are doing (regardless of what that is) a go. Trust in the moment, trust that even if you do let go a bit things will work out. Cease with the thought that you are the doer, that you are responsible for everything and all results. Hand that all over to God/Divine Mother/Life. 

When you let life flow through you by not overburdening yourself with the stress of results you will find life will flow through you freely. I’m sorry I can’t do this for you, I really am. You need to do this for yourself. You need to trust for yourself and you need to trust that your action in each moment when done with in an energy of surrender and for enjoyment will result in you feeling happy, open and free. What are you waiting for? Are you ready to let go of this one big reason for feeling overburdened?

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Is Spiritual Development Running you Ragged?

I don’t know about you but there have been, are times, when it seems that all my spiritual practises are actually causing me more stress rather than less. Given that the idea of spiritual practice is to develop inner peace and clarity of connection in mind-body-spirit and to Divine Mother it’s not a good thing or a step in the right direction to be run ragged in such a way. Why does it happen and what can we do to put a stop to it, to get our ‘life’ (time) back?

Just this morning I opened my eyes after morning agnihotra and meditation and was giving this very subject some thought. I thought about all that I do to foster health throughout my mind-body-spirit being. I thought about all that I have done in the past, all the practises I have given my time and effort to over many years and as I sat there feeling so calm and relaxed I thought about karma yoga and of what great benefit it is, how ridiculously productive it is to remember and practise karma yoga as part of one’s sadhana (spiritual) practise.

Karma yoga is the yoga of action. That is what karma means, action. So karma yoga is the yoga of your actions. It is doing the dishes, going to work, sweeping the floor, making the bed, watering the garden, feeding the family, wrapping a gift, making a card for someone, writing a letter… all of your actions can be yogic actions, all of your actions can be transformed into your sadhana (spiritual) practice by performing them as karma yoga.

You won’t be run ragged by karma yoga because it involves doing what you’d normally do though with a different focus/intention. You don’t need to set aside an hour day for karma yoga, you don’t need to go to a class. You just need to live your life with the attitude of service and awareness.

Karma yoga was not a form of yoga that I ever really gravitated towards, to be honest. However, as things often turn out… it is the yoga practise that is more dominant in my yogic life. Having spent so many years ‘working on myself’ has given me a perfect background of skills to employ in the art and act of karma yoga. I can apply almost all ‘healing myself’ skills I have learnt in life in karma yoga. The wonderful thing is, I don’t need to do most of those activities or have them as a focus in my life, I can just apply what I have personally gained from them in my daily karma yoga practise.

I have found the perfect balance and recipe (for me) is karma yoga + meditation + diet/lifestyle + agnihotra. Karma yoga needs to be balanced with meditation practise. Anything at all needs also to be balanced with meditation practise. What karma yoga does is give you the opportunity for you turn your everyday life into an opportunity for your spiritual development and overall wellbeing for your highest good. This is the beauty of karma yoga. It does not run you ragged, it is not asking you to perform more actions it is asking you to work at being more present in action. Actually you will find that in order to have more success with your karma yoga practise you need to do less action.

Less action because this means you can move, think and breathe more slowly rather than when you are in a rush. The slower you go, the better the chance you will have of being aware, mindful, and present.

So this is how you can avoid your quest for spiritual development, God realisation and personal development running you ragged in modern life, karma yoga.  It doesn’t ask more of you, it does not deem you as less or wanting, it only asks that you be present in your actions and hone that skill with the intention of opening your heart to Divine Mother and love.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Life is a Construction Site

This morning I was watering the garden. I do this almost every morning and it is one of my favourite jobs. It’s a peaceful, gentle job. I talk to the frogs and the plants and when I want to really find some inspiration I lay down on my belly and look into the secret shaded world of pumpkins in their patch. They are looking so big and happy! Today however, this usually peaceful job was marred by a touch of anxiety and it was generated by yes, you guessed it, my mind. I saw all these things that were ‘messy’, so many little things that need to be finished off and quite a few very big things that need to be started. Quite suddenly I quite lost my sense of peace.

Thank goodness I am enough in my right mind to realise that it was my mind that was at fault here… not the still unbuilt glasshouse. Quick I thought, what can I do? Thinking, thinking at a fast pace I realised! Chant mantra and get cracking with it. Get your mind away from these thoughts Theresa.  I began to chant a lovely Hari Krishna mantra, on repeat. It doesn’t take long for a mantra to take effect and I began to feel peaceful again. Something was left though, it was a thought and it has stayed with me all day. I know this thought and I am so glad I had this experience this morning so that it has been at the forefront of mind today.

This thought puts things into perspective and the thought is this… life is a construction site. At all times, life is a construction site. Of course I can see endless jobs around me and when I think about my own being I see there are many things I can do for my inner wellbeing too. Pens out, blue ink… life is a construction site and there is nothing wrong with that.

You are living in the middle of a construction site. It will get dusty. It will have materials laying around in it, waiting to be used. It will at times be noisy. All work will at times come to a grinding halt thanks to the weather. That’s what happens on a construction site.

We can get very confused and rather than seeing life as a construction site we think it is a polished Rogers and Hammerstein musical. Not the rehearsals, the end product where everyone has paid for a ticket because they know the show will be pretty much perfect.

This is what makes life hard. Thinking it is a polished Rogers and Hammerstein musical when in fact, it is a construction site. Nobody has a Rogers and Hammerstein polished musical situation around them other than God Realised Yogis/Masters. From an individual’s perspective it seems that everyone else has a polished Rogers and Hammerstein life and that their life is the only one that is a construction site.

If you ask the most beautiful, the wealthiest, the most intelligent (etc) person if they feel their life is utterly polished they will answer no. The fault in our thinking is that ‘peace’ is just over there, ‘time’ is just over there, ‘happiness’ is just over there… this is a battle and it cannot be won. It only and always leads in disillusion. So, what can we do?

Realise that life is a construction site that you are working on. There is no deadline on this work site. Enjoy the jobs you are doing, take your time, do your best rather than the most you can do. Above all else, keep in touch, keep the connection with peace in your heart. Do not worry about the construction around you, keep a connection with the peace in your heart instead.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

How long do I need to Meditate for each day?

Meditation has been a part of my sadhana (spiritual) practices for many, many years now and I am still learning about the art of meditation and me. The relationship between the two us, the relating between the two of us, the relation between myself and meditation. It is important to remember this, that the art of meditation is something that becomes real and becomes valid and important when it is related to from a personal level rather than something generic that can be applied be everyone in the same way. Because if you do that, it won’t work. If you have trouble with meditation practise, if you resist it because it seems ‘too hard’ if you feel that no matter how long, how many years you search for positive results from your practise they just don’t seem to be there… you’ll find what I am about to share with you useful.

I can’t remember when I personally began to meditate. How could I possibly know that? Was I a child walking through the bush looking at ants? Was I much older sitting in a room being guided by a teacher? I am often asked… when did you actively begin your sadhana? The answer is, I don’t know. Meditation and the performing of sadhana, for me, is in much more a state of flux than that, there are no, in my experience, any delineation lines.

For those people who know when they made up their mind to choose to make meditation a part of their life, and for those of us who just seemed to drift into it all how long to meditate each day and when to meditate is often a question we ask.

How long do I need to do asana, how long do I need to meditate, how long do I need to perform pranayama for in order to see some positive results? The answer is not clear cut, there are many answers. There are also more questions… what type of meditation suits you best? What is your dosha, what is your age, what environment do you live in, how experienced with meditation are you?

When most of us think of meditation we think of sitting down quietly and turning our focus inwards. We think of candles and mandalas and yoga asana. Yes, this is one method of meditation though it does not suit everyone, just as one type of church does not suit everyone. Some people like cathedrals and others an ancient rainforest. 

We can move into a meditative state whilst sitting in lotus position on a beautiful rug in a special spot for such things, we can also move into the same state whilst walking or drawing or dancing or cooking or cleaning or gardening.

What activity assists you most to move into a meditative state? Today I was talking with someone who is a massage therapist and for them it is when they massage someone.

Before we can enter into a deeper meditative stage we need to be able to still the mind, to sit still, to turn what Yogananda called the sense telephones, inwardly. For some people this is very difficult because they simply cannot calm their mind. Why force things? Why not go with the flow?

So the answer to the question ‘how long do I need to meditate for each day?’ is… enough to be able to find and feel peace within and more and more time the deeper you wish you go. Begin by choosing an activity that naturally brings you to that state as quickly as possible and go from there.

If going for a ten minute walk each day brings you there, start there. If playing an instrument for ten minutes brings you there, start there. Do not fight the mind, because it will fight back. Spend time each day doing something that disengages your mind. Do not worry about time limits… start with spending some time doing something that disengages your mind and go from there.

Commit to regular practise of disengaging the mind rather than setting strict time limits for yourself. Regular practise will train the mind and eventually it will become more peaceful, as will all aspects of your life.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Getting back to breathe

I rarely, rarely feel unwell. The past few weeks though, I have felt unwell. I couldn't work out what was causing the nausea and feeling of exhaustion. Nothing in my life has changed, that is, my diet is as always good, my friendships are good, my marriage is good, my baby is good, I am good. Milly the dog can be a bit of a handful though, however, this was not due to Milly. I tried everything.

I went to bed earlier, I ate less, I walked more, I pondered and pondered and I could not find a reason for this ongoing nausea and feeling of exhaustion. Then it hit me. My breath. 

Each day I meditate and each day I perform Agnihotra . I perform Omkara repeated many times, but what I needed was to pay special attention to my breath. It was time to focus on pranayama with strong attention. I began to mean business where pranayama is concerned.

I streamlined some of my sadhana practises so I had some extra time and energy to focus on pranayama. There is so much we can include in our sadhana (meditation, asana, diet, ethics, thoughts, pranayama to name just a few) and it is easy to 'get stuck' in performing the same components of a sadhana when really we may need to modify or adjust it according to what is going on right now in our whole being experience. So, I needed to bring into focus my breath because this was going to help me understand and overcome my unusual feeling of nausea and exhaustion. I began right away, this is what I did and this is why and here are the results.

During morning meditation I began by simply focussing on my natural breath. Allowing my breathing to be natural and uncontrolled. Allowing my breathing to be and to observe that breath. I actually noticed that both my inhalation and exhalation were short and that my exhalation was limited more so than my inhalation. Next I noticed the rhythm of both my inhalation and exhalation was out of time, it was 'jumpy' rather than smooth. Why would this be and what did this tell me about what was going on?

The flow of my breath combined with the feeling of nausea and exhaustion were signals of stress. Stress? But I'm not stressed. That's what I thought. I meditated on it a bit longer as I went about my day(s) and I kept getting the same answer... stress. After accepting this as possible I had a think about what could be causing this stress. Here is where the need for pranayama really came into play.

I was not breathing properly, fully and in a relaxed way. I was not relaxing enough, I was not experiencing the relaxation response enough.  I had underestimated the energy and attention supervising a one year old and caring for a garden and living off grid (etc) actually took. I knew I needed to take a step back. I knew I needed to calm down. I knew I needed to breath.

So I did.

I began with Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) as this is the most effective way to calm and balance all three doshas of the body, it is a highly effective way to reduce stress and anxiety throughout the whole mind/body system. After just a couple of sessions which I simply slipped into my daily morning sadhana practise, I felt much, much better.

It's been about a week and so much has changed. The feelings nausea and exhaustion have finally passed and I have calmed down, relaxed deeply enough for the real reason for my stress to emerge.

Today I sat outside whilst the baby slept and I wrote it out. I uncovered some wonderful answers and I have created an autosuggestion inspired by them.

There was a hurdle there I needed to jump. There was a door there I needed to go through and it began with the feelings of being unwell and it ended with the compiling and (now) implementing of a new autosuggestion. What carried me through? What was the working factor that helped me to calmly and peacefully move through this? Connecting consciously to my breath, putting a focus on pranayama in my sadhana each day.

I can roll back my focus on the breath now because that focus has done it's job. I can meditate a little longer or sing or spend a little more time with my asana. 

Come back to your breath when you need to. Don't forget you have this amazing, amazing tool that is free and there for you. Remember your breath.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Santa and Satya - what's truth got to do with it?

Santa and Satya

It’s an argument that all would agree has two sides, not only that, both sides have some very good points. Do you or don’t go along with the Santa fantasy? Is it damaging to lie to children, what happens when they find out, does a lie that honours the image and persona of a more traditional Santa (as pictured above) make it alright? I don’t know. What I do know about is Satya and that according to Yogic tradition and that great Sage Patangali it is important if we want to rise above our ego and become one with our Higher Self/Divine Mother that we embrace Satya.

Satya is the Sanskrit word for truth. It is one of the five Yamas (in Yoga), things not to do or to restrain yourself from and it means restraint from falsehood and the distorting of one’s reality in word, deed and even thought. Simply put, it means to be honest. Honest in thought and deed, also to be honest with one’s self. We seem to have the habit of moving the goal posts where honesty is concerned. It’s alright to be dishonest in one situation and not for another. When it boils down to it though, honesty is honesty.

We have a one year old daughter, she is too young to believe or disbelieve in Santa though when she is old enough to understand we will not be going along with the Santa hoax. Not because we are Christmas bar-humbugs but because we do not lie. Some people say that the Santa lie is not a bad lie as it is ‘for a good reason’, it makes children happy and brings magic into their lives, it is something to look forward to and well it is simply a beautiful part of childhood. This all may be so, but it does not change the Satya element. Let’s put lying to a child on hold for a minute and look at the consequences of telling a lie, the consequences for the liar.

Every word is a mantra, every word carries a vibration, as does every colour, every thought, every thing and these words have a resounding effect upon the water that we are predominantly made of. If you’d like to learn more about this, and the work of Masaru Emoto click here.

To speak words that are dishonest lowers one’s energy frequency because a lie is of a heavy energy. Loving words, honest words and joyful words and thoughts higher one’s energy frequency because they are light, and bright. Dis-ease of all types manifests in lower energy frequencies. Have you ever felt sick when you are full of joy and feeling happy? I notice that I only feel sick and/or upset when I am not feeling joyful. Health and happiness go hand in hand.

As adults, as parents we are teachers for children. What we teach and how we teach is mostly up to us. If I were to tell lies to our daughter, even if I preface them with ‘it’s for a good reason’ what am I teaching her?

I want her to have energy of the highest vibration possible. I want her to resonate truth and joy and I want her to be healthy and happy. To be so she needs to hear and speak the truth and for that to happen I embrace Satya.

Does Satya mean we go about telling the ‘truth’ as we see it whenever and wherever we see fit? No. This goes against Ahimsa, non-violence, not to injure. We tell the truth as we can when/where it will not cause hurt. When we tell a lie, the Santa lie, we start a ball rolling, a pretence we need to keep up.

Santa and Satya, consider the two together and see what you come up with.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Joy comes before love

We are encouraged to be more loving, and to be so will help us to feel happy in/with life. 'Be grateful, be loving, be thankful, be kind this is the way to happiness', but is it? In a chicken and egg scenario, joy actually comes before love.

Unrequited love is a great example of this, we love something or someone and yet if it/they do not love us back. We continue on with our admiration and efforts and whilst the feeling of love may still be there we lose energy, interest and finally effort... next comes a broken heart. For such short periods of time we may have felt happy during the interlude and this feeling of happiness can end up becoming feelings of sadness expressed in many ways; depression, stress, anxiety, worry, anger, tiredness to name a few.

What would happen if rather than seeking love we sought joy? This is something I have been working on, seeking joy directly whilst also becoming aware of causes distress (the opposite) of joy in my life and within myself.

I have found that when I seek to experience joy, I experience happiness and a love for life. Joy is such a light feeling and it lifts you up. When I am filled with joy I want to be generous and kind and understanding and this is loving. So by seeking joy, my heart fills with love.

A joyful love is light and all that it touches is uplifted, including our thoughts and actions. Love however, is not necessarily light and it sometimes fosters light heartedness but not all the time. Joy always fosters light heartedness and light heartedness always brings forth a loving feeling towards life.

We can feel love and yet still feel stress or anxiety or tiredness or stress... but when we feel joy we cannot feel anything but happiness.

Seek joy directly in your life and feelings of love and happiness will follow.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Falling in love with the life you have

Confession time. I have spent most of my life working hard to create a different life to what I have. Always looking outwards and coming up with what I need more or less of in my life so it could be a life that I would love. The perfect life for me. A life with more time for this or that, a life where I am always happy, a life full of joy because it is the perfect life. In this perfect life I am perfect. I have worked hard on myself to make it so and if life is not perfect than clearly it is my fault. I know now that this is a bit like a donkey trying to get a carrot that is hanging from a stick, just out of reach.

I'm not sure how it happened but I fell in love with the life I have and that is because I fell in love with who I am right now, RIGHT NOW. I have a suspicion that the course of flower essences I have been on have tipped things over the edge, as they do, and this is the shift that has happened. 

I have in fact been suffering from 'farmer's curse', that's what my neighbour calls it. You probably suffer from it to. Do you recognise these symptoms? Other people come to your garden and home and comment on how beautiful it all is and all you can see are all the jobs that need doing. Because once those jobs are done, THEN things will be beautiful. That may be the case,it also doesn't prevent you from loving what is, because you love yourself as you are RIGHT NOW.

That is how I have been (I hope) cured of farmer's curse. I see all those jobs (especially and including the jobs pertaining to my personal development) but they aren't so noisy, they are just there and they are a part of the life I live and am madly in love with. We hear it all the time, love what is, love your life. How can we do that though?

The secret (thanks flower essences) is to love the jobs too, to love the 'imperfections'. It means to no longer be bullied by 'how you can be better' and the jobs you need to do.

I look at all the things that are 'getting there' absolutely including aspects of my character and love them for where they are at, they are like a child growing, they are at a stage of growth and I don't need to hurry it all along. I attend to things with love and when I feel the joy of doing evaporate, I move on to the next thing.  Just like planting a seed, watering it and leaving it do its thing. Tending it when necessary, leaving it alone when necessary.

I have realised that the feeling of being in a rush is perhaps the most destructive thing (for my) peace of mind. I also realise that it is me (for the most part) that causes the rush. To be relaxed is most important. When we are relaxed our prana (life force energy can flow) and our body fills with ojas (bliss) and we are dis-ease free. I'm so tired of rushing myself, I'm not doing it anymore.

I think that maybe, just maybe I 'have it' this time because yesterday the baby went to sleep in the afternoon and I thought about writing and then I realised I needed to nap. So, I had a sleep instead.

When I woke, all the things I want to do were smiling at me and I felt so very madly in love with my life and myself. 

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

It's who you parent with that makes the difference

Our daughter is almost one, I've learned many things this past year but one thing that stands out is that it is who you parent with that makes all the difference. When I was pregnant, so many people told me how hard it would be, to have a baby around. From what I was hearing I imagined parenting would be like going on a really, really, really long bushwalk in the most extreme conditions. I've found that at times it can seem a bit like I am in some sort of event that is a cross between a wild goose chase and a marathon, but for the most part it is easy.

Yes, our daughter is a wonderful little girl an 'easy baby'. Yes, we live in paradise and yes we are both healthy and happy. But why is she 'easy' and why do we live in paradise and why are we healthy and happy? I've given all this some sort (and many other things too) as I sit there for a few hours at a time spotting her as she learns to stand. It's largely to do with whom I parent with, and this (more than) theory also applies to who you work with, live with, own pets with and are friends with.

Could our baby be 'easy' because we (her parents) know who we are and are relaxed? We respect each other and we are there for each other. We meditate daily and we eat really good whole foods (vegan) and we do many things each day, for each other. Maybe our little daughter feels safe around us?  Maybe she can feel that we back each other up and we support each other and we support her, together.  Maybe she can feel that we live in a wonderful little community where most people know her and que up to hold her?

We didn't just end up in this paradise, we created it (to an extent). We are building and bringing to life the prettiest vision of self-reliance and we take the time to enjoy what we already have. This afternoon for instance we sat for quite some time, on the veranda, watching chooks and the way the sunlight shone through the newly emerged leaves on our newly planted fruit and nut trees. We watched the bees entering their hive for the night and we spotted our daughter's standing attempts.

Paradise is partly what is, and it is partly what you notice. Parenting with someone, working with someone, living with someone who can notice the paradise around is a blessing and it makes things easy.

We choose to be healthy and happy, we are careful regarding our diets and we are careful as to how we conduct ourselves. It is almost automatic now, but it took practise to get to this point of self control. Of being peaceful within and without.

I think that any job, parenting included (perhaps especially?) is easy when it is done with someone who makes it easy. I save so much energy and have so much joy in my life because of who I share my life with. I don't think that parenting is hard, or working or digging a hole of cooking a meal... it's only hard when who you are doing it with makes it hard.

You will have people in your life that make things easier and you will have people in your life who make things harder for you. Choose to parent, to work, to play with those people who make life easy just because of who they are and the affect they have on you.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor and Writer. 

This Is What Happens When We Breathe

When we breathe we open space within ourselves.
We open space in our mind, we open space in our hearts.
We open space in our joints, we open space for our movements.

Dis-ease can not dwell in a space with flow,
dis-ease and worry dwell in the stagnant.

When we breathe we take our time...
to smell the roses, to survey the self and connect.
When we breathe we cope with stress more easily, we make the right decision more often than not.

When we breathe we bring oxygen into our body and breathe out carbon dioxide, we cleanse our blood in this process.

When we breathe we connect to life, to our life, to the life around us,
to the Divinity with us... within all.

When we breathe we sleep beautifully, we worry less, we choose life enhancing foods
and our outlook is more positive.

When we breathe we relax tension and relaxation is the foundation for any peaceful, happy and healthy state of Being.

When we breathe we pause, we cope, we more than cope.
The more we breathe the more we thrive.

Trees breathe, flowers breathe, everything that is alive on Mother Earth breathes.
Mother Earth breathes.

To breathe is to connect to life,
the process of breathing and an intention to breathe is life affirming.

Most of your troubles, my troubles, anyone's troubles can be greatly solved simply by implementing a simple daily breathing practise.  Try it.

Follow your natural breath, in and out, in and out.
Relax.
Consciously, relax.
Breathe.

What to do when everything you touch turns to ...

The past few days have been those sort of days where everything I touch turns to ..... It started three days ago, and they are just little things but they are enough to be seriously annoying and upset my usually beautifully flowing life. I've been quietly watching things and my reaction to them, delving in using my intuitive feelers to see a) what is going on b) why? c) what is causing it?

Of course this is not the first time and I doubt it will be the last time I experience this, though I must say I am getting much better at processing and dealing with this slightly turbulent energy that rocks the boat of happiness and peace.

The number one thing I have realised and perhaps you have too is that this is not anyone else's 'fault'. Nobody is trying to rock my boat and the fact that the dog's voice seems louder, the baby's whinging seems to be conducted at an even more unnerving note and the matches (half a packet of) that it took to light (too late in the end) the agnihotra fire this morning do not 'have it in for me'. No, they do not. However I could definitely be excused for thinking they do as it does seem that everything is indeed focussed upon turning the air I walk on into thick mud. Breathe, that's right, let's take that focus and turn it inwards because the matches are not out to get me.

Inwardly I gaze and ponder. My first port of call (often the way with me) is to check in with my diet and sleep patterns. I give them both a big tick. I've been eating well and at regular times, food blessed and infused with an intention of light... gratefully accepted from Gaia and all. Sleep, well, I still do wake every three hours to feed you know who, though I do stick to my early bedtimes and I am relaxed before sleep so I sleep well and for roughly 9 hours per night, actual sleep. So it's not my body's chemicals and hormones that are out to get me.

The next thing I check is how mobile I have been, how much I am exercising and practicing pranayama (breathing exercises). Well that gets a big tick as you know who now weighs over 7 kgs and I put her on my back and we walk in the direction of the letter boxes and back most days Our aim is to get all the way down and up our steep gravel road to those letter boxes and back again in not so long a time... that would be 7 kilometres. Most days I work in the yard, digging and digging and ripping out buzzies. I bring in a load of wood a day, feed the chooks and the goats, clean the home and make it pretty and cook on average 8 meals (from scratch) per day. I also pick up and put down (several times a day) you know who, who is 7kgs. Then there is my yoga and meditation practise. So, no, I'm not sitting about and I give my mobility and breathing and meditation practice a big tick too.

So it's not the matches and it's not my diet and it's not my sleep and it's not my mobility... so who is out to get me then? Maybe it is my friends and husband?

Yesterday we took the baby to a play/learn splash everyone with freezing cold water group and a friend works at the school. She knew we were coming and had a picnic morning tea ready for us. On the way home we visited another friend who is a naturopath and spent time sharing her knowledge over an ayurvedic chai (made by her), upon leaving she gave me the sort of hug that you really, really feel loved in.  As soon as I have finished writing this blog I'm making a fantastic lunch to share with friends today.  I started the day (as I do everyday) with half hour massage given by my husband who is now taking the baby for a bushwalk whilst I write and who also (as he does every day) changed the baby's nappy, fed her and all the rest.  So it's not my baby, my mates or my husband who are out to get me. So who is it?

That really leaves one person I have not assessed and that would be me, am I out to get myself? Deep breath, really could it be? I am ready to accept the uncomfortable. Read all that is written above... now, someone who puts so much effort into caring for themselves and is obviously very loved, would they be out to get themselves? No, of course not. I love myself and do my very best to show myself compassion and kindness so I don't think it is me who is out to get me. So who is it?

You know what I have worked out, it's nobody. Nobody is out to get me. Everything is actually wonderful and all I need to do is to breathe and relax and allow this period of bad matches, barking dogs, annoying flies and steeper hills to pass. All I need to do is to focus on my light within, which never changes, and feel that. All I need to realise and know is that nobody is out go to get me, that I am wonderful and so are you are.  If everything you touch seems to be turning to ...., don't worry about it. Go and have a cup of tea or something.

Theresa Daley is a Spiritual Counsellor and Mindful Living Mentor, book an appointment with her here.

The Importance of Prayer

I grew up attending a Catholic school. My family are Catholics, though not practising and nor am I. They certainly are not, were not religious so I am not sure why we were baptised and attended Catholic schools. I think because they were thought to be good schools and they were too. All those hours of sitting in church and attending RE classes, that is, Religious Education classes, meant that the word prayer had for me, a distinctive nuance about it for many years. Even to this day it still does. But praying and prayer is so much more than the activity which comes to mind when we think 'prayer' on bended knee before a God in the sky.

I pray daily, I pray many, many times a day and I'm sure you do to. Whenever we have a wish, an intention then that is a prayer if our heart is in it. Whenever we connect to someone, somewhere, something with our heart than that is also prayer. Whenever we wish someone well, whenever we think.... I hope such and such feels better soon, then that is prayer. Whenever we write a list of goals or create a manifestation board with gratitude in our hearts than that is also prayer. Whenever we give thanks, that is prayer.

Prayer empowers us because it is a process that allows us to speak and be listened to. It gets our hopes up because when we pray we aim our thoughts at something good. Prayer releases our stress because when we pray we get to take what is in our mind, in our hearts and put it 'out there' rather than carry it around with us. Not only do we put it out there we do so with the hope that we will get help. It is awfully cathartic to ask for help, to be honest. That process starts with ourselves realising and owning up to what we need, what we need to change and when we pray we are saying 'I'm ready'.

Prayer unites us with our world, it erases the delineations of separation. When we pray we are not alone.

Whatever it is that we do that connects us to more than our ego self is prayer. Whatever it is that we do which expands our hearts to encompass more than our own little paradigm is prayer. I see my morning yoga routine as prayer too. I breathe and I expand and in that expansion I breathe some more and I connect to the deeper parts of me and this is prayer too.

Before I eat a meal, I chant the mantra AUM followed by three Shanties and Hari Om Tat Sat. I do this to bless the food and to give thanks to Lady Gaia and to all those that helped (including the nature devas and divas) create/grow the meal for me.  I do this to connect. To disconnect from whatever it is I have been doing and to become present with being and eating. 

Prayer is important because it is a way to connect. It is a way to step outside our own routines and our own thoughts, desires and own little world. Prayer empowers us because it humbles us. In prayer we are acknowledging something bigger, something that is love and gratitude and life. 

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Teacher and Spiritual Counsellor.