Grace, is the essential ingredient for the Divine life you want to live

I can remember, a few months ago feeling very, very frustrated… I wanted certain situations to be different to what they were. I was frustrated with (what I perceived) as life’s slow march of progress towards how I thought things ought to be. I don’t think my feelings were unfounded. Not at all. Nevertheless they were causing me to feel greatly frustrated. The frustration was eating me up, it was all consuming and I was not a peaceful person. It took a few days for the ‘cure’ to surface in me, that cure was Grace. Grace was the healing balm to be applied to the nasty bite of frustration.

Please don’t confuse Grace with Gratitude, this is the mistake I made.  I was being told by someone, ‘the problem is you are not being grateful for what you have’, this made me even more cranky and frustrated as I knew I WAS grateful and I am always so. What I was not being was Graceful, full of Grace. When I got hold of this idea and the energy of Grace, it flowed to and through me, my frustration eased bit by bit.  It is difficult to be Graceful, full of Grace. There is no instant grace switch, though we can lure it so that it builds up and becomes all encompassing. Where there is grace, frustration cannot exist.

These are three yoga asana I perform on a very regular basis that help me to allow the energy of Grace to flow through me freely. Sometimes, I do these asana several times a day… even if I am in a cue at the post office! You will need to do these asana regularly for the energy of grace to flow because these asana will relax you mind and body. Start with daily. It doesn’t need to take you more than a few minutes. They are very effective at triggering the relaxation response (that alleviates the stress response) and in turn, grace in being.

Pranamasana (Prayer Pose)

This pose is the most wonderful pose for inviting Grace into your mind-body. Close your eyes and hold your palms together in prayer position at the heart. Relax, and feel love. Do this pose as often as you can and keep feeling love as you do so.

Hasta Utthanasana (Raised Arms Pose)

I love this pose and do it as part of my Surya Namaskar (salute to the sun series) each day. You don’t need to do this pose as part of Salute to the Sun, you can do it as a stand-alone pose. Science now shows that to look up, to reach up, to lean back like this actually reduces feelings of being overwhelmed. This pose opens your heart and brings a sense of deep relaxation and release to your mind-body system.

Padahastana (hand to foot pose) 

This pose is a counter pose to the raised arms pose above, do one after the other as a flowing movement. Take your time. The raised arm pose brings the energy in and the hand to foot pose releases it. This action reduces stress in the mind – body system and as a result paves the way for Grace to flow. Do not be confused with being ungrateful with being ungraceful!

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Book your private appointment with her here

How to grow good pumpkins

This year I have grown the best pumpkins. They are big, they are healthy and there is an abundance of them. This is an improvement on any other year for pumpkin produce because this year I actually applied some skills and methods that I’ve not applied before. We have a supply of pumpkins for the winter (tick) and I have grown too, along with these gorgeous pumpkins (tick). Welcome a new master, the teacher, Pumpkin!

Previously I have applied a rather hit and miss approach to pumpkin growing, fuelled I think by a comment my father once made about how when he was growing up they ‘grew like mad, practically weeds’. He grew up in a much warmer climate on a dairy farm where they no doubt were regularly soaked in both cow manure and water whilst growing in red volcanic soil. These growing conditions did not come to mind for me, instead, I considered that pumpkins must be the hardiest plant on the planet to grow and as such could pretty much fend for themselves. I have been wrong.

Last year I decided that I was going to grow an abundance of good pumpkins and I was going to apply myself to the task. No more hit and miss for me.

The first thing I needed to do was to prepare the soil, here at Nala Pakana this actually means make the soil. Pumpkins need heaps of room and so we dug out a large circular shaped area in the spot my landscaping friend had designated for such a purpose in a plan she drew for us a few years back.

We then collected up some wood (of which we have mountains of) and set it alight. It was a huge fire and when it was burning well, lots of coals, we put it out. Then we covered it in quite a bit of freshly collected seaweed, several inches thick. We combined the coals (well and truly out for about a week) with the seaweed. In short we had made our own slow release bio-char.  Onto this we emptied well-rotted humanure soil from our clivus multrum composting toilet. We also added lots of good soil and mixed everything up. Then, a very thick layer of garden mulch hay was added. Nothing to do now other than keep it watered and that is what I did.

I cared for that pumpkin soil religiously, ensuring it was well watered. When the soil looked as if it had broken down and now that autumn was upon us I sowed seeds for a green manure crop of barrel medic, broad beans, sub clover, white clover and red clover. The rains began and the seeds grew and the space filled with green. When the green manures started to flower I went out and dug them all in, well, until everything was well combined… green manure, soil and hay. I waited until the perfect time of November and planted into our pumpkin patch a selection seedlings I had grown from seed myself in our little cold frame made from old windows placed quite near to the front door for easy care of seedlings.

I watched those seedlings like a hawk and spoke with them every day. I told them they were strong and beautiful and would grow into wonderfully big plants producing enough pumpkins to see us through the winter time. I thanked the Devas for their help and asked them to protect and nurture these seedlings. I watered them, I fed them foliar feeds, some homemade and some bought at the hardware. They grew and grew those plants and then I used the sprinkler to keep them watered.

Does this seem like too much work for winter time meals? Does this seem like too much work to break the habit of the hit and miss gardening approach? Does this seem like too much work to build a strong and more personal relationship with the Devas? Does this seem like too much work to be able to watch little seeds turn into big plants and green an area so that you can see that green from meters upon meters away?

Yes, we now have enough delicious organic and grown with love pumpkins for the winter time but that is not the best of what we have gained. I have learned to make my own bio-char and I have further developed the ever useful skill of patience along with the also ever useful tool of diligence. I am at the moment working on a garden area for the Devas because my hand in hand relationship of gardening with their faery energy has grown stronger.  Our little daughter will love this spot and at it we will converse with the elementals and offer them gifts. I have also applied myself to making the best sourdough bread and a brilliant compost that is ready to use in just a couple of weeks, both of which would not work with a hit and miss approach.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentorand Spiritual Counsellor  Book your private appointment withher here

I look at our pumpkins and I am filled not only with a sense of happiness, but also a sense of achievement because I get to eat pumpkins, I met my goal of growing plenty for this winter and I know I apply the hit and miss approach far less in all areas of my life.

It took planning to grow these wonderful pumpkins and it took dedication and both were worth it. Do not apply a hit and miss approach to anything in your life if you want good results. Be it meditation, changing your diet, growing pumpkins… apply a hit and hit the target approach!

Harvest your pumpkins when the stalks begin to look like this, when the leaves die back, when you tap on them and the seed cavity is formed and the tap gives off a hollow sound. 

Harvest your pumpkins when your pumpkin patch begins to look like this, straggly and old. Leave a good amount of pumpkin vine attached and do not use the vine or stalk as a handle. Carry your pumpkin and vine by the pumpkin. Do not break off the vine or stalk or your pumpkins will not store well.

The One Big Reason You Feel Overburdened

This morning I feel, really, really happy. I feel in balance, I feel at ease (soldier), I feel a great expanse of space in my mind, in my heart, in my body and in the space around me. I know why I feel like this, I also know why I don’t feel like this all the time. There are many little reasons (tired or such) for the days that I don’t feel like this and there is one big reason. I also know I am not alone in this, I’d bet that your one big reason is the same as my own. I’m writing this down, I’m sharing it with you because I want to remind not just me, I want to remind you also. I want to give you permission to get over this one big reason. I think we all need all the help we can get with this one.

It’s about being overburdened, it’s all about taking on too much, and it’s all about trying to get ahead. Yes, it’s all about trying to get ahead or is that… a head? At almost 42 years of age I know my motivators for overburdening myself because I know myself pretty well. I can, at times, take on too much because I have a good and generous heart and I want to help people, animals, the planet, even Angels. In fact, I’ll help just about anything and anyone. I will stop what I am doing to save a bee or a worm on the road. I can, at times, take on too much because I feel I need to, should do, have to because I am almost constantly looking to be productive/useful. I love the way I am, I love that I love to help and I love that I love being productive, that’s me! However, even these gorgeous qualities leave a nasty taste in my mouth when to them is added being focussed on the result because this is what causes the overburdened business.

Here’s how I have (am) fixing it so that I have far, far more days feeling as I do today. Because as they say ‘what do you expect, the world to change for your peace of mind? Change yourself.’

Being totally honest with myself (and with you now), totally honest, I realised that the reason I wanted to help someone/something, the reason I wanted to be productive was because I was focussed on the result. I would (and sometimes still do) add and add to my list of things to do and to be if I thought it was going to get me closer to my expected result. In your head, picture a small woman that is now bent over with the weight of the load she is carrying. She can hardly see the road that lays in front of her because she is carrying such a weight she can only manage to put one foot in front of the other and she can see only the road at her feet… not the sky, anymore. Poor thing.

The most powerful action I took to help me shake off my burdens was to stop being focussed on my expected result, and I instead enjoyed what I was doing just for the sake of it.

When the need to achieve a certain result is taken away you have all the time in the world, when you feel you have all the time in the world the burden is lifted. Suddenly there is no finish line you need to rush to. There is no push, the rush is gone.  First a feeling of deep relief rushes in and is followed by the feeling of relaxation.

“Rather than focussing on the finish line, my expected result, I am free to do the best I can. I am free to enjoy what I am doing, I am free to be present.”

When I realised this, truly realised this, a weight heavier than Mt Everest was lifted off my shoulders. The thought ‘I don’t need to worry about the result, all I need to do is my best (and enjoy) THIS moment, THIS action’ is perhaps one of the most powerful thoughts I have. I don’t need to do my best to get a certain result, I don’t need to do my best to impress someone else, I don’t need to do my best for any other reason other than to enjoy the doing, the action. That IS ALL,I realised, I need to do. I just need to do my best at enjoying myself as I live this moment focussed in the action of this moment alone.

This isn’t selfish, nor is it foolhardy, it’s honest and it’s real and it gives me/you energy rather than zapping it away from us. This way of thinking spells an end to the career of the dis-eased juggler of life! This way of thinking will have me/you doing a far, far better job of things I can assure you.  Rather than overburden yourself, rather than take on too much, rather than trying to get ahead try surrendering to the moment instead. Give enjoying the moment and what you are doing (regardless of what that is) a go. Trust in the moment, trust that even if you do let go a bit things will work out. Cease with the thought that you are the doer, that you are responsible for everything and all results. Hand that all over to God/Divine Mother/Life. 

When you let life flow through you by not overburdening yourself with the stress of results you will find life will flow through you freely. I’m sorry I can’t do this for you, I really am. You need to do this for yourself. You need to trust for yourself and you need to trust that your action in each moment when done with in an energy of surrender and for enjoyment will result in you feeling happy, open and free. What are you waiting for? Are you ready to let go of this one big reason for feeling overburdened?

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

A Snapshot of My Life, and how to be reminded of the good

Here is a photo I took this morning of my garden, I took it whilst watering it, well a small part of it. Today I am having a rare experience, I’m here at home, alone. No husband, no baby. Such space both physically and mentally has allowed me to have a more significant than usual experience of deep thoughts gently rising to the surface in my mind. The thought, or rather, string of thoughts that went to form an idea that paints an extremely cathartic tableau. Let me explain what they were and I ask that you too take a snapshot of your life and do the same. It will help you to connect with your personal strength and spiritual nature.

You’re going to have to keep looking at the picture above for this, I’m going to walk you around.

Starting at the front of the picture, look at what is growing. Beans and nasturtiums intertwined, radish and self-seeded nettle. Overlooking this healthy scene are two metal magpies, purchased last weekend from a trip to see open gardens in Richmond. Separating the garden from the house area is a wire fence, on the other side of that you notice the front wall of the house is blue and against that blue wall is a bbq. Righto that is enough for now. Let me explain how each one of these features shows me just who I am now and how much I have changed in a very positive way.

The garden, I love gardening and it is in my Irish blood and it was in my nana’s too and I have gardened in some way or other my whole life. Over all these years I have acquired many skills and finally I think I am getting there with the relatively recent goal (perhaps 5-7 years old) of mine to grow as much food of my own as possible. I did think it was about being self-reliant and I did think it was about ensuring I had a ready supply of nutrient dense food and I did think it was about some sort of personal biosecurity and it is, but I realise now it is about so much more.

Having a garden that self-seeds, is nutrient dense, supplies a yield and follows permaculture principles does not happen overnight, it takes years to learn how and it takes countless hours to create. Looking at the garden and how healthy and happy the plants are I see reflected in that my ability to be resilient and to push on, to try and try again.

Those recently purchased magpies (aren’t they lovely!) are in our garden because my husband Nick bought them. We went, as a family, on an open gardens day last weekend and he saw that many people had them in their gardens. He saw the little shop where they were sold, made my a local chap. So now we have two of them and four faery wrens. My husband is my second husband and there is no way my first husband would have said ‘hey, tomorrow, let’s go as a family to see the open gardens in Richmond. The money goes to epilepsy Tasmania and I’ll do everything. You just relax and come along. It will be romantic.’ My husband is the most unselfish, loving, giving, patient, thoughtful, hardworking, kind and wise man I know. I, am married to him and we are best friends. When I look at those magpies I see reflected in them my ability to choose a relationship that is truly loving and respectful.  It took years!

The wire fence was built by my husband, yes, the man mentioned above. It is strong and it is well built, it is also ascetically pleasing and it also keeps the cats in the yard. He didn’t just build it, he consulted with me. What do I want and why? Do you want to be able to see through it? How big will the garden bed behind it be? When I look at that fence I see reflected in it my ability to collaborate with someone else and I see that I know what I need to do and what I need to do.

The blue house wall, not just any wall but the front of the house. It is blue! It has a shattered mirror art installation on it, it has cobwebs on it, the sky is often the same colour. When I was a child I was not allowed to alter my environment and certainly, certainly not go around painting the front of the house bright blue. This restriction on self-expression was more than vigilantly imposed. Often it is not easy to externally express one’s inner nature. When everybody else has white walls or brown ones and you were brought up in an environment that is less than liberal your hand can remain stayed on the paintbrush over the bucket of bright blue paint. When I look at that blue wall I am reminded that I am a creative, an artist and that I find deep joy in colour and life and that I am now strong enough to simply be me, regardless of the so called social and family conditioning rules state.

Ah, the bbq, this is a nice one. The bbq was given to us a few weeks ago by a friend who was moving. It is her 40^th this year and she did not want to celebrate. She is the most kind and generous person on the planet, really she is. So, I said to her, if we are to take the bbq you are to have a vegan bbq birthday party at our place with your friends. I’m so looking forward to her and her partner and some of their friends coming to our little home tomorrow to celebrate her 40^th birthday. When I look at that bbq I am reminded that I have some very, very good friends in my life that mirror my own generosity and loyalty of spirit. I am a deeply generous person and I am loving and my friends are this too. I have the most wonderful friends!

In this picture there are so many more reminders of how good my life is and what it took for me to get there. Though as I said at the start, I’ll finish with the bbq. Never doubt that you are not moving forward. Look at a snap shot of your life and be reminded of what your life is and where you are going to bring yourself inspiration!

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor