How long do I need to Meditate for each day?

Meditation has been a part of my sadhana (spiritual) practices for many, many years now and I am still learning about the art of meditation and me. The relationship between the two us, the relating between the two of us, the relation between myself and meditation. It is important to remember this, that the art of meditation is something that becomes real and becomes valid and important when it is related to from a personal level rather than something generic that can be applied be everyone in the same way. Because if you do that, it won’t work. If you have trouble with meditation practise, if you resist it because it seems ‘too hard’ if you feel that no matter how long, how many years you search for positive results from your practise they just don’t seem to be there… you’ll find what I am about to share with you useful.

I can’t remember when I personally began to meditate. How could I possibly know that? Was I a child walking through the bush looking at ants? Was I much older sitting in a room being guided by a teacher? I am often asked… when did you actively begin your sadhana? The answer is, I don’t know. Meditation and the performing of sadhana, for me, is in much more a state of flux than that, there are no, in my experience, any delineation lines.

For those people who know when they made up their mind to choose to make meditation a part of their life, and for those of us who just seemed to drift into it all how long to meditate each day and when to meditate is often a question we ask.

How long do I need to do asana, how long do I need to meditate, how long do I need to perform pranayama for in order to see some positive results? The answer is not clear cut, there are many answers. There are also more questions… what type of meditation suits you best? What is your dosha, what is your age, what environment do you live in, how experienced with meditation are you?

When most of us think of meditation we think of sitting down quietly and turning our focus inwards. We think of candles and mandalas and yoga asana. Yes, this is one method of meditation though it does not suit everyone, just as one type of church does not suit everyone. Some people like cathedrals and others an ancient rainforest. 

We can move into a meditative state whilst sitting in lotus position on a beautiful rug in a special spot for such things, we can also move into the same state whilst walking or drawing or dancing or cooking or cleaning or gardening.

What activity assists you most to move into a meditative state? Today I was talking with someone who is a massage therapist and for them it is when they massage someone.

Before we can enter into a deeper meditative stage we need to be able to still the mind, to sit still, to turn what Yogananda called the sense telephones, inwardly. For some people this is very difficult because they simply cannot calm their mind. Why force things? Why not go with the flow?

So the answer to the question ‘how long do I need to meditate for each day?’ is… enough to be able to find and feel peace within and more and more time the deeper you wish you go. Begin by choosing an activity that naturally brings you to that state as quickly as possible and go from there.

If going for a ten minute walk each day brings you there, start there. If playing an instrument for ten minutes brings you there, start there. Do not fight the mind, because it will fight back. Spend time each day doing something that disengages your mind. Do not worry about time limits… start with spending some time doing something that disengages your mind and go from there.

Commit to regular practise of disengaging the mind rather than setting strict time limits for yourself. Regular practise will train the mind and eventually it will become more peaceful, as will all aspects of your life.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Shifting energy with a moment of mindfulness

What it takes to shift energy is a moment of mindfulness. A moment where we can choose to break a momentum, to instigate change, to hop onto a different more and more constructive vibe. This moment of mindfulness is the window of great opportunity we need to make a change. This moment is at a peak and in it things feel intense. When we grasp this moment and infuse it with mindfulness (our presence of mind) we shift things, we shift how we feel about a circumstance or situation. This is how it works, let's begin with an anecdotal story from yesterday.

I was hanging out the washing, the view here is expansive and it's all really quite beautiful. Nonetheless I didn't feel 'right', I felt something needed to change, that I needed to do something, but what? I was entering into a moment of mindfulness that would shift energy. I knew this because I have done it again, and again and again. I've had heaps of practise!

I was feeling annoyed, frustrated and needed to get moving in some direction. I was feeling discontent. I think feeling discontent is perhaps the worst thing I can ever feel because it sours everything. I quickly scanned through some scenarios in my mind... ought I go out? Get off the property for a bit? Ought I do some other type of jobs? Ought I eat something? Before I take any action I always do the most sensible thing first, I ask Divine Mother for advice. To cut a long story short the guidance was to do Yajna, Tryambakam Mantra to be precise. The great healer, the great shifter of energy.

So I scooped up the baby and down we went to perform the fire for over half an hour, it worked wonders.

That was a very important moment of mindfulness in shifting my energy. You don't need to perform Yajna (though it is a wonderful practice!), you need to be able to recognise when a moment of mindfulness can shift you out of the space you are in.

When you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, upset, frustrated, annoyed etc nip it in the bud! Apply a moment of mindfulness. Stop! Just stop and do something else. Not something that will escalate your feelings, such as pushing yourself harder when you are stressed but something that feels the  opposite to what you were doing. Because that is what is usually called for. If you are being very Rajasic (active) be a little Tamasic (inert, still).

When you are just beginning to feel the onset of upset and frustration (manifest in anyway), stop and catch your breath and ask yourself... what do I need to do now? Do I need to sit and breathe, do I need to go for a walk, shall I write a letter, begin to cook a meal, what? Then do it. Apply a moment of mindfulness to shift your energy.

This works on any level, physical, mental and emotional. If you are feeling physical pain, mental stress of upset emotionally... stop and change tack. You can go back to whatever it is that needs doing once you are feeling happy again.

Don't simply press on, this is not being mindful of your well being. Shift your energy with a moment of mindfulness.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Be Kind to Yourself, You Are in Transition

 

When something inspirational comes to bring out a change in my way of being I often jump in boots and all, though actually incorporating that change into my real life takes more effort. I have found that by reminding myself that I am in transition and to be kind to myself because of this has very much helped me to be able to integrate change into my life and way being with Grace.

It is not the change or what that change brings into being in my life that causes me dis-tress, but rather it is how I deal with it. Explained in a nutshell... when I accept I will ride the wave of change with Grace, when I fight against it I will experience distress. These sentiments are based on experience and I have noticed again, and again that the situation is always the same.

I (like everyone else) have been through so many changes in my life, the latest big one has been to become a mother. Though whether it is mothering, or farming or writing or healing or a different diet the situation is the same, if I mindfully step from where I am to the next step (notice I did say the last step, I have found out that my legs are not that long) with the mantra "be kind to yourself you are in transition" playing in my thoughts then the step is the perfect size and accepting the change is easy, it flows it is graceful. As a result I do not tire myself, I am happy and all is in balance. 

Change IS about transition. I think many of us think of change materialising a bit like the end result of a magic trick, shazam! 

Change is about transition. It is about going from one thing to the next, from one phase to the next, it and this happens in increments in steps. Look at your life, look around you. Look at all the 'good' and all the 'bad' and now look to see what happened before, and before that and before that. It can all be traced back, so far back. 

We have a baby body, it becomes the body of a toddler and on it goes until old age. This is life and when we can remind ourselves to "be kind to yourself you are in transition" what we are doing is going with the energy of change and this is graceful and peaceful.

Regardless of what is happening in your life right now, you are in transition. You may be aware of this or you may not be, this doesn't change the fact that you are in transition. Every cell in your being is in a state of change, transition. You/I can help that transition to be pleasant by being kind, understanding and compassionate towards ourselves because we are in transition. 

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

The courage to change

The other day I was listening (via the net) to one of my favourite RRR Radio shows, Twang. A few years back that was my least favourite show, in fact I think at the time I would have had some strong words around how much I didn't like it. It's a country music show and though I was partial to a bit of Patsy Cline in the past I was adamant in my decision that I did not like country music. Now I do, a lot. 

I won't bore you with anecdotal stories of my changing tastes, here's a partial list... they encompass food, music, approaches to meditation, expression of personality, hobbies, books and the list goes on. I'm sure you are the same. There are hair styles, clothing styles, nutritional habits, holiday destinations, going away for holidays vs not going away, garden designs and the list continues to go on.

Some of the changes happened gently and really quite without my noticing they and other changes required me to own them and that takes courage. We all have these changes that we need to own, the effect of embracing and owning these changes varies by degree. Whether we are homosexual, a hippy green voter, or the only one in the room of cat haters that loves cats... it is difficult to stand up and own who we are. It is even more difficult when what we need to own is different to what others know (and expect) us to be. 

We have a mould cast for us and we cast our own moulds too, to break that mould, to be something else to be someone else takes courage. I think so many of us stay as we are because it is easier than changing. When we break moulds we break our lives. Often a change in how we related to the world means letting friendships go, moving to a different location, voting differently at the ballot, admitting that you like country music and cats (God help me).

Why is is to so hard? Is it because we fear the consequences of our owning a change? I think it is more to do with the fact that by owning a change we are to some degree admitting we were wrong. That's a hard thing for the ego to deal with. Here's how to make it easier.

Change happens because life is a flowing event, life is always in flux so it is not that we were wrong, we were right for that time and then we change to be right for a new time. It is not silly or weak or treacherous to change our colours, our ideas, our habits or our beliefs that is what life is for.  Life is to be explored. We are alive to find out who we are and to make peace with ourselves. Who gets things right the very first time? Nobody. So we try this and we try that, we tweak this and we tweak that until we get it right. 

So don't think in terms of admitting you were wrong, think in terms of tweaking and in terms of things being right for right now. Any change in who we present ourselves to be is only a reflection of how we are growing and changing within. Do you expect someone to wear the same baby clothes their whole life? No, they'd look ridiculous. 

Holding onto our ethics, our values and building upon what we have created/realised previously in our lives offers us a guide and makes owning change easier. We all have essential qualities that are our own, such as kindness, honesty, courage, creative intelligence (etc) and holding onto such aspects of character help keep us on the level. No matter what change you are owning, you are still you. That is your anchor and that will never change. That is your safety. 

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Joy comes before love

We are encouraged to be more loving, and to be so will help us to feel happy in/with life. 'Be grateful, be loving, be thankful, be kind this is the way to happiness', but is it? In a chicken and egg scenario, joy actually comes before love.

Unrequited love is a great example of this, we love something or someone and yet if it/they do not love us back. We continue on with our admiration and efforts and whilst the feeling of love may still be there we lose energy, interest and finally effort... next comes a broken heart. For such short periods of time we may have felt happy during the interlude and this feeling of happiness can end up becoming feelings of sadness expressed in many ways; depression, stress, anxiety, worry, anger, tiredness to name a few.

What would happen if rather than seeking love we sought joy? This is something I have been working on, seeking joy directly whilst also becoming aware of causes distress (the opposite) of joy in my life and within myself.

I have found that when I seek to experience joy, I experience happiness and a love for life. Joy is such a light feeling and it lifts you up. When I am filled with joy I want to be generous and kind and understanding and this is loving. So by seeking joy, my heart fills with love.

A joyful love is light and all that it touches is uplifted, including our thoughts and actions. Love however, is not necessarily light and it sometimes fosters light heartedness but not all the time. Joy always fosters light heartedness and light heartedness always brings forth a loving feeling towards life.

We can feel love and yet still feel stress or anxiety or tiredness or stress... but when we feel joy we cannot feel anything but happiness.

Seek joy directly in your life and feelings of love and happiness will follow.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor