What you need is... a little spot to sit.

Here is something you can do to make sure you get enough of an opportunity to trigger the relaxation response, it works every time, all the time. What you need to do is to create a little spot to sit, or in my case, about five little spots to sit.

The best place for this spot is somewhere you find peaceful and beautiful. So not a spot inside surrounded by jobs. My little spots to sit are all in our garden, because this is the most wonderful place in the world for me.

Your little spot to sit needs to be somewhere that you see and walk past on a regular basis. This is so that you see it often and it invites and reminds you to sit down.

Your little spot to sit needs to be comfortable, it needs to be a do nothing spot... so not your meditation spot. This little spot is for you to relax and enjoy doing nothing at all really. You need to be able to sit back with a cuppa tea.

Your little spot needs to be out of the way of the general traffic of other people. I sometimes sneak off to my little spot and at times I am there for up to an hour before I am found out! Sometimes I only get five minutes before our little daughter finds me.

This little spot to sit is where you will rejuvenate, where you will relax, where you can let your guard down, where you can daydream and drift off. You need this time, you need this spot for your mental health. This is YOUR special and sacred spot. Happy daydreaming.

Recognisinig Cycles as Omens

These three beehives in a row have spoken to me this morning. I look at them and I see that a cycle has come to an end. I didn't know that the end of the cycle would look like this, and I could not have possibly seen the steps in between the first beehive coming into my life and these three now all in a row.

That's the thing to remember, life and it's steps roll out in their own time and in a Divine fashion. Rather than trying to end cycles yourself, to complete cycles and to place meeting on things happening as being the end of cycle... let the omen for the end of a cycle appear as it will.

You do not control the cycles in your life, they are following their own pattern. When a cycle ends you will, if you are relaxed, see this ending and you will be able to decipher the omens in this ending.

It has taken roughly seven years for these beehives to find this spot, in a row, as their perfect home. They speak to me of so much; learning, loving, letting go and acquiring new skills. They speak to me of so much more too. I look at them and I can see a long story, it is a part of my story. I can now sit back and enjoy looking at these three sisters in a row, I can enjoy the energy that is present at the end of this cycle. I can give thanks and I can find release.

To decipher the meaning of the omens in the ending of cycles look at the characters, the scene, the time it has taken and look to how you yourself have grown.

An important key in defining a positive you

Being a more positive person, presenting a more positive outlook, thinking positive thoughts and being a positive influence on others is something, I think, everyone wants to be more of, have more of. The other day I remembered something I heard someone say in an interview on the radio. I’m not sure who it was, it was so long ago but it really stuck with me. It was this… rather than define yourself by what you don’t like, believe… define yourself in the positive light of what you do like, believe. Svadhyaya (self-study) is integral part of following a yogic life and defining yourself by what you do believe and like is a great exercise in self-study.

When I focussed upon how I defined what I believed and thought I found that very often I did not do so in a positive light. I began to watch what I shared on social media, how I reacted to what I heard on the radio and what I said to others in conversation. There was no mistaking the fact that quite often I was not defining myself positively by what I did believe in and was in fact defining myself by what I didn’t like or what was wrong rather than right.

I’m not suggesting that we ought to turn a blind eye to suffering in the world, I’m saying that it is far better to define who we are, what we believe in a positive light. Here is a simple example and it has to do with my choosing to be vegan. I could say ‘I’m vegan because I don’t like the way animals suffer’ or I could say, ‘I’m vegan because I feel healthier and I believe in compassion for all beings’. Can you feel that the later has a nice ring to it, it may even inspire the listener to think about being vegan themselves?

To but it simply, negativity is a turn off and it causes others to shut down. Why? Because it harks back to us all wanting more positivity in our lives, not more negativity. When we define ourselves in a positive light, choosing to identify with what we do believe in rather than what we don’t it actually lifts our frequency/energy because it is positive self-talk.

I’m finding it is a fun game, to watch myself and catch myself defining myself by the negative rather than the positive. It is surprising how often I do it too! I’m also noticing that I feel a more buoyant energy around me and life feels lighter and happier as I catch myself and change to a positive definition to replace the negative.

It’s easy to do. Choose to define yourself and how you see the world in a positive light with positive words, positive self-talk.

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Book your private appointment with her here

Grace, is the essential ingredient for the Divine life you want to live

I can remember, a few months ago feeling very, very frustrated… I wanted certain situations to be different to what they were. I was frustrated with (what I perceived) as life’s slow march of progress towards how I thought things ought to be. I don’t think my feelings were unfounded. Not at all. Nevertheless they were causing me to feel greatly frustrated. The frustration was eating me up, it was all consuming and I was not a peaceful person. It took a few days for the ‘cure’ to surface in me, that cure was Grace. Grace was the healing balm to be applied to the nasty bite of frustration.

Please don’t confuse Grace with Gratitude, this is the mistake I made.  I was being told by someone, ‘the problem is you are not being grateful for what you have’, this made me even more cranky and frustrated as I knew I WAS grateful and I am always so. What I was not being was Graceful, full of Grace. When I got hold of this idea and the energy of Grace, it flowed to and through me, my frustration eased bit by bit.  It is difficult to be Graceful, full of Grace. There is no instant grace switch, though we can lure it so that it builds up and becomes all encompassing. Where there is grace, frustration cannot exist.

These are three yoga asana I perform on a very regular basis that help me to allow the energy of Grace to flow through me freely. Sometimes, I do these asana several times a day… even if I am in a cue at the post office! You will need to do these asana regularly for the energy of grace to flow because these asana will relax you mind and body. Start with daily. It doesn’t need to take you more than a few minutes. They are very effective at triggering the relaxation response (that alleviates the stress response) and in turn, grace in being.

Pranamasana (Prayer Pose)

This pose is the most wonderful pose for inviting Grace into your mind-body. Close your eyes and hold your palms together in prayer position at the heart. Relax, and feel love. Do this pose as often as you can and keep feeling love as you do so.

Hasta Utthanasana (Raised Arms Pose)

I love this pose and do it as part of my Surya Namaskar (salute to the sun series) each day. You don’t need to do this pose as part of Salute to the Sun, you can do it as a stand-alone pose. Science now shows that to look up, to reach up, to lean back like this actually reduces feelings of being overwhelmed. This pose opens your heart and brings a sense of deep relaxation and release to your mind-body system.

Padahastana (hand to foot pose) 

This pose is a counter pose to the raised arms pose above, do one after the other as a flowing movement. Take your time. The raised arm pose brings the energy in and the hand to foot pose releases it. This action reduces stress in the mind – body system and as a result paves the way for Grace to flow. Do not be confused with being ungrateful with being ungraceful!

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Book your private appointment with her here

Regaining your personal head space as a full time mother

Accepting the full time job of motherhood is an act of true surrender and of courage. I have struggled with accepting this job, not doing this job. The key to peaceful motherhood where you get your own head space back is to accept the job, totally. Believe you me this is more than a difficult task at times. It takes courage and it takes faith in the process of life.

How many mothers do you know or are you a mother who works as a full time mother and feels they have lost their personal head space, the space we need to connect with Self? Our baby is now about 17 months old and I can tell you, honestly, that I have only recently accepted the full time job of mother hood. I have been working in this job for our daughter’s whole life, but it is only recently that I have accepted this job fully and I did so because I was pushed to brink of break or change. Thank goodness my higher-self chose change!

It is relentless, at times, the stress in this job. Mothers will know what I speak of and others reading this will be thinking… surely it is not that hard. At times it can be that hard. At times you have no personal space, no time alone… no head space that is just for you, and then there is the constant marching on of nappy changes, food preparation, tidying up again and again and again. All day long, all day long. So, you fight for what is left of your personal head space but that is not the way to get it back.

So, what can we do about it? Withdraw in some way? I have found that this is not the answer and that withdrawal and acceptance are two different things. To accept means to immerse without judgement, without limitation, it is to fully allow the flow. It is to let go of the sides of your raft as it rushes down the turbulent river, to hold your arms up high and to trust that you will not crash.  To sit balanced in the raft rather than trying to control it.

The water sprays up all over you and there are times when you feel you will crash, when you come so close to it… rather than withdraw, accept. This is when you need to let go even more. Scream with a sense of release on that raft, not out of frustration, but out of release. IT’s a beautiful and liberating sound. These acts are the final acts that will clear the dams and allow the water (life) to flow through at a great speed. You will not be swept away. I know, because I have not been swept away.

You will have abundant energy and you will laugh so much and you will find that suddenly you have more time and more space, you will find that things fall into place and all because you have accepted the job of full time motherhood, totally. Rather than fight for your personal head space, let go and let all of life/Divine Mother flood you! Surrender and accept and you will find an expanse of energy in your heart and mind that you did not, previously have access to!

Theresa Daley is a Mindfulness Mentor and Spiritual Counsellor 

Book your private appointment with her here