Sunday, 6 November 2016
Too fussy, too busy...
Fussiness, discretion and the busyness culture go hand in hand. They are the three sides of a triangle where no matter what way you turn it a pointy end is reached. The culture of busyness, which I feel is a dominant culture in developed societies is a topic of great interest to me. Whether it be work, or play or the seemingly never ending quest for self-betterment, the culture of busyness can often be found hard at work. I have come to the conclusion that it is fussiness that is a main driver in the personal goals we are trying to meet when immersed in a culture of busyness. Similarly, it is the showing of too much discretion that works alongside fussiness. Here is a real life example.
I love people who are good at feeding you. My nana was an expert, my mother is also. I have a few friends who could teach almost anyone a lesson in how to generously feed. I hope I am a bit the same. These people are the people who offer you lunch, or morning tea and find great pleasure in sharing food and in doing so warm the cockles of heart's in their home. Visitors and residents alike.
My nana was the first person to cut you a piece of homemade pineapple pie if it were not a main meal time and the first person to set you a plate at the table (set anyone a plate at the table) if it were a main meal time. She was not a wealthy person by a long shot, but she was generous with what she had. Could fussiness and the culture of busyness be killing off such shows of generosity? I won't eat that, I won't do that, I don't have time and on the list goes. In my nana's day you gave graciously and you accepted graciously. That was that. I like it.
We can show too much discretion, it's called fussiness and it is stifling. Being proactive is important and too much of it is called busyness and it wears us out.
Have you read the Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet? In it, Rabbit is always placing a sign on his door and it reads 'busy, busy back soon' he is referred to as a backson. Always busy, busy back soon. A busy backson.
What drives the backson to be busy all the time is a lack of acceptance, a lack of grace. Ever searching for something else, something more perfect keeps one very busy indeed. I doubt that anyone who lives with a fairly good degree of grace and acceptance would be a busy backson.
Whilst the goal we have in mind may seem worthwhile, how are we living on a day to day basis to reach that goal? Are we being fussy, are we too focussed on our goals that we have a sign perpetually on a door that says we are busy and will be back soon?
To life a life of mindfulness and peace, we need to balance discretion with grace and acceptance. To live a life that is happy and healthy we need to balance activity with inactivity. We need goals, it's solar plexus stuff and it's important for our overall wellbeing and health but goals that are rigidly adhered to can leave us exhausted. There needs to be flux too.
A good compost heap works well because of it's as anaerobic activity, a good digestive system for the same reason. There must be space. That is what the asana (postures) in yoga are all about, creating space.
Eat to 80% capacity, turn your compost heap to bring in air, stick to your goals and ethics and allow for a little bit of give too. Live graciously and generously in the acts of both giving and receiving. Life is not meant to be so serious and hard... now, how does this wonderful song go?